Women’s lives

Not sure I really want to weigh into this but some thoughts.

There are particular things about the Sarah Everard case that have made it stand out in the public mind - I have not been following it, or the news in general so I may get things wrong here - but the fact that as a missing person it was reported in the news and got a public awareness quickly was unusual (I saw some shared missing person facebook posts for her, and I see those every week for other people who don't make the news), then the discovery of a body and an accused being charged very quickly, together with the photogenic identity of the victim, made it kind of complete as a horror story in the media. The situation of lockdown (and interacting with the world through media) I think has also had an impact on how people have reacted to it. It's like there's a need to say something, do something, react in visible and collective ways.

Yes, it's horrific. Yes it's awful that women don't feel safe on the street and get harassed often and just have to brush it off. Yes it's good there is a lot of discussion right now - seen some great social media posts as well as more journalistic stuff. But let's not forget that you're more likely to be murdered in your own home than abducted from the street. The reclaim these streets slogans about not having to stay home to be safe? Home isn't safe. Your partner, ex-partner, friend of a friend, colleague, isn't (always) safe. Stranger-danger is over-emphasised.

Yeah it's uncomfortable and intimidating being harassed on the street but that's not what I fear.
I realise this is very much up to the individual but I have got into arguments with 'well-meaning' acquaintances because I feel safer going home alone than being escorted by a work colleague or friend of a friend or whoever, I feel safer on a rowdy night bus than in a taxi. Strangers committing horrific acts are the nightmare of our collective minds, but the mundane reality is that it is people you know. And no, they don't all wear creepy loser tags on their forehead. They aren't all crass cat-calling stereotypes. Yes, it could be that 'nice guy' you know. Believe us when we say we would rather not be walked home.

And while being white, pretty and well-off don't in any way protect you from these crimes, there is a media - and not just media - bias in how we see victims of crime, how horrified we feel, how surprised. This cuts both ways - the lack of surprise or interest in poor women and women of colour abused and murdered in their own homes, and the disbelief or incredulity towards an abused woman who is perceived as powerful (rich, pretty etc). Unless they're actually murdered.

Maybe this is OT for the intention of the thread. Edited.