The middle aged thread

We live in a magical age.

Now you just have to prevent your wife from throwing them away when there's a week's life left in them.

Padlock and chain through a hole in the metal key?

What an eminently practical suggestion.

He’s right, simple cable lock is sufficient.

Only problem I can see is hiding the key for the padlock.

Hide it in a tube of toothpaste

Just issue the instructions "This tube is not finished until I say it is. I will dispose of it."

With SuperThumbs™ you can easily get a week or two extra from a tube compared to feeble normal humans.

When the weather forecasters said last week was the coldest for 25 years I thought they meant since the 70s. Last night Man U fielded a player born in two thousand and bleeding four.

Been there. I'm not permitted to leave a toilet seat up and yet when she's washed her hair (only) in the shower she can leave the shower head laying on the shower tray. I should point out we are divorcing but not over this sort of shit.

Moved a bunch of stuff into storage so I can finally use my office/study/studio space... Lots of planning went into it, yesterday afternoon I decided I'd paint the walls as it was looking a bit shabby...

Piled all my stuff into the middle of the room so access was sometimes difficult, two coats, it was exhausting, I'm sore all over...

Thought my knee felt a bit funny after this afternoon's session, I think I've pulled something... Can barely get up off the couch, which is just as well cuz I don't really wanna move... There are still a few dark spots, gonna have to go at it again tomorrow... 😩

Stoopid idea...

Just had my first Covid jab, that's proper middle aged!

Middle aged rotator cuffs.

AstraZeneca? If so, lots of water and paracetamol and resist the urge to bleed the radiators when the chills start. (good luck!)

Oxford and zero reaction..... as yet. Was planning more in the region of Highland Park and refusing all household duties

Jab booked for Sunday, along with Mrs JJ.

We had a choice of venues and elected to go to Excel, as we thought we'd make a day of it.

In other middle-aged news, Mrs JJ was looking at holidays earlier and actually suggested a river cruise in Bordeaux.

I can't believe I even typed that, what has happened to us?

That's real jabbery top trumps, beats my New Romney Old School hands down.

If Mrs B suggested a river cruise I would hope she enjoyed it while I was in Costa Rica.

Mrs Landslide and I did a river cruise* in Costa Rica. Crocodiles sliding into the water as we passed was interesting.**

*Rubber dinghy trip
**Only slightly worrying

Bugger that! View from a Costa Rican bridge, I would want a steel hull between me and them, or preferably a kilometer.

1 Attachment

I've just had a nightcap, I'm 44.

At the ripe old age of 48 I've finally had to admit that I can't fuel myself for an 80 mile club run on a can of coke and a bag of crisps like the young 'uns. Not being a fan of having my jersey pockets stuffed like gerbils cheeks I've decided to buy something that once would have been considered 'oh so middle aged'; the ubiquitous - Handlebar Bag!

1 Attachment

[checks watch] r u alive m8?

Just about! Feel rough as fuck. With an entire medical history of measles at 5 and chickenpox in the 1990s I thought I would breeze through. Sulking in the kitchen with Paracetamol, tea, porridge and YouTube.

Hmm. I’ve booked mine for 4.30 next Tuesday afternoon at Selhurst Park. Not sure what one I’ll be getting but I guess I’d better alert work that I might not be up for an 8am start on Wednesday.