The World's Fattest Man with no bike! aka - find hippy a new bike aka - Just get ( fill in blank )

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BareNecessities

Kona Unit fits your criteria, I think, though only available as a singlespeed full build or frameset

https://konaworld.com/unit.cfm

https://bikepacking.com/bikes/kona-unit-x-review/

Edit - geared version https://konaworld.com/unit_x.cfm

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hippy in reply to @BareNecessities

What is that tube hanging at the back?

I'm liking this the more I look at it. Maybe I just need to see more examples of dirty bikes with some bags hanging off them. :)

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PhilDAS in reply to @hippy

What is that tube hanging at the back?

A fishing rod
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BareNecessities in reply to @hippy

Maybe I just need to see more examples of dirty bikes with some bags hanging off them. :)

https://bikepacking.com/bikes/hardtail/

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