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I think hardening the border is a step too far for even the DUP. The resultant backlash does not bear contemplation. The main problem with the political (and some so-called ‘political’) parties is that they are completely opposed to each other - no middle ground exists. Things are slowly changing but we have had 40 years of aggression which has recently reduced but there is an underlying current that could bring it back again quite quickly. The border issue being one of the reasons that violence could return very quickly.
I’m not sure it’s been mentioned here but there was a thread on Reddit relating to why people vote for a particular party and the one reason which wasn’t mentioned was history - I found this rather odd. Families will vote for a party irrespective of the parties policies - and I mean generations of families. That is why things are so slow to change here. That and lack of viable political parties who can bring this country out of the 1970s. It won’t happen in my lifetime and likely not in my daughters - that’s the depressing truth.
Do the DUP care that it's an impossible task? I would guess that they just want the massive hardening of positions that the return of British soldiers to the border and NI would create.
Demographic change over time and the gradual reduction of strong Union beliefs are the existential enemy of the DUP - setting the border on fire to solve that may be a price they're willing to pay.