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I wasn't being even remotely serious.
However the crap thing about keyboard compared to controller is WASD for movement control being digital. I've always thought a keyboard with just analog WASD would be a big improvement but the whole keyboard seems a bit OTT. Would be interested to see what it's like, but definitely not enough to buy one.
I think you'll need one of these to smooth the transition...
https://www.razer.com/gaming-keyboards/razer-huntsman-v2-analog/RZ03-03610200-R3U1