I've never 'got'

Michael McIntyre being incorrectly classified as a comedian.
Should be laxative.

Golf.
It’s a pitiful waste of calories, sunshine and land.
If it wasn’t for the networking I reckon 90% of the club members wouldn’t bother. I think most of them would probably pay the fees if a bogie flicking club had the same benefits.

People that put song lyrics in the comments section on youtube videos without giving a reason.

You mean the entirety of the lyrics right, not just a line?

https://youtu.be/7my5baoCVv8

A few lines, guessing they mean something to them?

I've Never Got Over You

i couldn't keep my mind on all the work i had to do today
your memories kept on clouding up my mind getting in my way
next they'll up and fire me and i'll be wondering what i'm gonna do
the only thing that i can say that makes me act and feel this way is
i never no i never got over you

i still see your dark eyes
almost everywhere i turn
i keep standing on the bridges
i thought i had burned
i can still feel you near me
in everything i try to do
and the only thing that i can say that makes me act and feel this way is
i never lord i never got over you

old memories have the damndest way of showing up at the most unusual time
they can walk right through the darkest part of your mind and turn on every light
Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com
or take a perfect crystal day and turn it into a misty shade of blue
and the only thing that i can say that makes me act and feel this way is
i never never got over you

i still see your dark eyes
almost everywhere i turn
i keep standing on the bridges
i thought i had burned

i can still feel you near me
in everything i try to do
and the only thing that i can say that makes me act and feel this way is
i never lord i never got over you
yes the only thing that i can say that makes me act and feel this way is
i never honey i never got over you

https://youtu.be/7FM02ElYgZo

Hiya, Barbie
Hi, Ken
You want to go for a ride?
Sure, Ken
Jump in
I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
Come on, Barbie, let's go party
I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
I'm a blond bimbo girl in a fantasy world
Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly
You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky
You can touch
You can play
If you say, "I'm always yours" (ooh, oh)
I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere…

Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com

Such poetry.

Drives like they are trying to kill you but has one of these...

My theory is that at least some of these drivers are up to no good, don't have a kid, but have that in the window so they're less likely to get stopped.

I never knew what they were for until someone told me recently that it was to alert the emergency services if they’re faced with checking multiple cars in the event of a pile up.

I think they’re obnoxious and the emergency services should be allowed to get on with their job however they see fit.

I get annoyed when a parked car has a baby on board sign.

That ir child abuse, locking them in a car all the time

There was a Scottish sketch show on the tee vee called Naked Video that did a skit on those signs with a 'bastard on board' sticker.
Shouldn't have tried to look for it on you toob though....

The least worst of those stickers that I have seen read 'ex-husband in boot'.

On a similar note, I was once in a lift at Heathrow with a bike box. Someone asked, What's in there? I answered, Most of my ex-wife, before realising that is not a sensible thing to say in an airport. There was a slightly tense silence while I pondered what would be probed first, broken by Wayne Coyne going into conniptions. I've forgiven him every album since the Soft Bulletin for that.[/csb]

I heard that before too. Although it was in an article where they asked the fire brigade and they said that they ignore them and, unsurprisingly, follow their standard procedures.

Ha, have done exactly the same in Gatwick to a curious brat, my answer was 'children, chopped up small'.

The "Baby on Board" signs are simple nudge psychology. People are subconsciously (and in general) less aggressive and more forgiving to people who might have a baby in the car. That's pretty much it.

did you just casually name drop Wayne Coyne?

So casually I didn't reckon anyone would notice. He's one of many famous people* I've shared a lift with.

*3

One of our "bomb dog" handler's had a lovely wire-haired pointer called Alf. All the ladies working at Royal Ascot had come to love Alf over the years and were like bees round a honeypot when he was about. His last operational deployment was Ascot this particular year and Dave, the handler, wound up every group of ladies he met by telling them that Alf was retiring. He then say " Yes he's going to live on a lovely farm in Wales, aren't you Alfie?" He'd then do a theatrical wink and touch his finger to the side of his nose.
The number of women that frantically wanted to have Alf to save him from the implied visit to the vets.
NB. He did retire to Dave's house and lived happily ever after.

I bet the other two werent involved in albums anywhere near as good as The Soft Bulletin

Bomb dogs

1 Attachment

Dressing dogs and cats up in clothes.

I get if they are out on a walk and it's a raincoat on something skinny like a greyhound but when they are laying around at home with heating on with a t-shirt on? That can jog on.