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Yeah was actually going to post suggesting a steel vig as an option that is close to @Thrasher 's requirements.
It's TT is close to horizontal but does slope slightly. The only real significant deviation from his wish list is lack of guard mounts. Also note that it doesn't have any bottle mounts either.
But it's a fast, fun and agile bike so ticks the main requirements. I think they look great too. I regret selling mine and I'm on the lookout for another.
Most the bikes that match that criteria seem to have a reputation of being a bit heavy/dull to to ride. How about a used Cinelli Vigo steel? Doesn't have a horizontal TT but word is they're very nice to ride and will clear 30/32 front and back. Send it to Winston for some rear eyelets and use p-clips on the front. @yetidamo will tell you how nice they are for a RF base.
When my Dart dies/get nicked i'll be getting one.