Any question answered...

I do try to show appreciation, but I am not a professional actor and it's another obligation being forced on me against my will.

Also, by definition, why the fuck should I be grateful? They have done it because THEY WANT TO, or they've done it because they feel obliged to - neither of which are entirely selfless motives.

Wow. Dude, I’ve been there, particularly with a certain family member who gifted me loads of thoughtful stuff that I didn’t ask for, and most of it felt like a burden I had to receive and then keep or use. It got to the point that i didn’t want to disclose my new address for the better part of a year so they wouldn’t send me unrequested gifts.

If you’ve not read it, you might find ‘The five love languages’ by Gary Chapman to be an interesting read. It’s not hard science mind you, it’s food for thought.

Spoiler alert: giving gifts is some people’s way of expressing affection, and it seems like it’s not yours. For chronic gift givers I’ve found it’s part the rush of buying something, part idleness, part sense of accomplishment at finding something for someone, and mostly wanting to express a feeling.

Do you prefer spending time with people, actively doing things with them, physical touch, or love through words?

I found it useful to identify my own ‘love language’, and express very clearly but politely that I am cutting down on material possessions and that what I actively want is to not receive any new objects at all until new notice. In my case, my message got through and it helped to lower the amount of gifts to a manageable level. I say manageable because I still occasionally get a thoughtful un requested thing, but now it’s much less frequent. All this takes energy, mind, which it sounds like you don’t have much of to devote to this specific issue right now, and that’s fair enough. My validation is as useful to you as the drink in my hand, but you’re fully entitled to not want gifts for whatever reason and to be miffed when people disrespect that wish. Hope you’re able to find a happy compromise if it’s something you want to change.

PS: turns out I had undiagnosed ptsd and was depressed af. Not saying that’s your case, but the levels infuriation and resentment I felt were definitely seated in deeper stuff.