Sort-of memes that are cracking you up at the moment

My work have done fuck all for us this Christmas. Which is only marginally worse than the Parker pen I got last year.

My wife on the other hand had her second hamper delivered yesterday.

I just got a call from work, furlough extended to 25th jan (was meant to go back on 4th).

I’ll take that over a Galaxy bar.

Lol top meme would rep.

Genuinely has me chuckling to myself.

More off topic stuff, but hey - ITS CHRISTMAS ! Each year we get a free range turkey, which grew up in the field next door -sniff- (I'm veg, so I don't) a bottle of whisky (I don't drink spirits so I donate to a neighbour). And each day during December, we get a glass of sherry at 10:45 each day (which I do drink - the only time I ever drink alcohol, cos free) plus either a mince pie (very nice, hot from oven) or a sausage roll. The place smells epic during December :-)

#rep. Genuine lol.

I got a Christmas pickle and we painted my bike last night until we were extremely drunk, didn't have to pay for booze or paint.

1 Attachment

pickle rick ?

My place have just spent 4 grand on "cannabis" flavoured candles as our christmas gifts. They don't even smell like weed. And I had to sit through a zoom quiz.

I got 35 quids worth of cheese from work. Beat that

I got £35 of Love 2 Shop or something vouchers. It almost all went on a vegan burger and mac&cheese for my lunch.

My daughter’s school had to shut two weeks ago due to covid infections, I’ve been home schooling her since. I’ve set up a Christmas collection outside the classroom for the home school teacher. I’m not holding my breath. A Galaxy, plain or fancy would be a treat.

mahoosive box of Godiva chox that didn't make it to the end of the week. i think i had a bonbon and possibly two squares of a slab.

box it came in is the perfect height for a monitor stand. winning!

Absolutely fuck all.
My first year in the private sector (after 15 in the NHS), on recruiting I was told about the all paid for summer party (food, booze, venue, travel) and same again at Christmas.
Neither happened, no bung to compensate (or you know, in lieu of the parties) and I haven't had my free fruit they supplied until WFH was mandated.

No gift but three extra days of annual leave so now have the whole of next week off. Rejoice.

Course the people in the organisation who were working to deadlines and were counting on those days next week are now fucked, but I’m not one of them so bad luck and if they call me I’m no fucking answering.

We had a team building exercise and the staff got an Apple Watch. I got Amazon Vouchers as I didn’t want one (bah humbug). When I joined the company they were giving umbrellas for Xmas.

I still don’t get the wooden inlaid box

Thanks guys, kids crying...

1 Attachment

I had to get a massive thawing frozen turkey home on Christmas eve on the train.
I had won it at work in an all meat Christmas raffle.
Might have been ok except we went for Christmas drink after work which went on longer than planned so the thing was dripping from the overhead rack on the train which was packed .
I got it home but as we don't eat meat my wife donated it to the old people's home across the road the next day.
Grim.

We got two extra days off but I’m going to have to work anyway to meet deadlines 😭

I remember going tenpin bowling at Elephant & Castle one year, just before Christmas.

The plan of the night was to bowl, then go to a pub before hitting Fabric and taking class As.

My mate Steve managed to bowl three strikes in a row, which is known as a Turkey, apparently. Unbeknownst to us, the MegaBowl was running a Christmas promotion to give a HUGE frozen turkey to anyone who performed this feat.

Steve tried to smuggle it, dripping, into Fabric, then tried to check it into the cloakroom. No dice. Then he tried to raffle it to the queue outside. I can't remember how he finally got rid of it.

No gift but three extra days of annual leave...

I was reminded during the phone call to email my manager with when I wanted to take annual leave...during furlough...because if I didn't take it by end of January I'd lose it.

I'm not there anyway, what difference does it make if I get my annual leave!

Furlough is usually 80% phone cheque, holidays are usually 100%, no?

Rep.

We are getting 100% on furlough because they're only furloughing the staff who's wages get paid by income, the staff that are paid by gov funding have been 'wfh' all along.

I received nothing either, not even a leaving card (tomorrow is my last day).

I've never actually met, nor even seen my colleagues, but still.