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As ever, thanks for your thinking. I had wondered if your experience with Hive was 1 or 2, but you've said 2. Will go with Tado. Someone has written up their experience of Tado vs Netatmo here - https://www.reddit.com/r/smarthome/comments/fkcii5/tado_vs_netatmo_comparison_of_both_systems/ they note the netatmo TRVs are much louder than Tado.
A note about Decos and compatibility - TP Link have said there seems to be issue with ethernet backhaul via some D Link switches. So much they list it in their troubleshooting docs, and I saw it in at least one forum thread.
Nest has no radiator integration... it's really just on/off control for the boiler. Smart yes... adapts schedule, learns how long it takes to get the room with the thermostat to a specified temperature, can learn how you manually override the schedule and make those adjustments for you... it makes set it and forget it complete... but it also is just an on/off switch. The best on/off switch for sure, at least this works when the internet is down (I switched from Hive to Nest precisely because an internet outage rendered my heating useless).
The smart integrations from boiler manufacturers are also on/off switches. Typically tuned to the boiler to make them more efficient in their ramp up of heating. Not as intelligent as the Nest, but if you're using a static schedule then they do this via a nice app and allow you to trigger heating out of home and will ensure the heating is fractionally more efficient.
The real difference comes when you jump to Tado. Still an on/off switch for the boiler, but now with individual radiator control. This is done by having the TRVs on the radiator be motorised, and it will combine enabling the boiler with adjusting radiators to give per-room control. Some reports in this thread of Tado TRVs being noisy when they adjust (i.e. when you're sleeping and they adjust to enable heating before you've woken)... but you get per-room control.
What I believe the decision chart looks roughly like is this: