I hate

What does arsenic taste like?

Trimethylarsine smells like garlic.

Exactly. Not a fan of Stewart Lee, then?

nope, not at all

The state of the patter in the replies to comedians tweets.

Generally mainstream male comedians are the absolute worst for this.

Twitter is enough of a cesspit as it is, but dropping into comment threads like that really hammers it home. People are awful.

Cunts that renew subscriptions / memberships without so much as an email warning or anything

Particularly egregious when applied to insurance that costs hundreds.

Had this happen even when we wrote to say “don’t” just before insurance was to expire.

Was as time consuming to get the refund as it is when making a simple claim....

I spent absolutely ages on the phone going in circles to stop my home insurance automatically renewing recently. Clearly designed to be as complicated and frustrating as possible in an attempt to make you give up.

It definitely appears to be a strategy.

Actually, I’ll extend and say I hate insurance companies in general - it’s just taken us 9 months and multiple follow ups to get payout from an RTA where someone drove into the side of us, wrecking both cars. Despite the driver admitting responsibility at the time, eye witnesses who saw what happened and a police letter to say the other driver was at fault and would be prosecuted, the insurance company resisted paying out.

Finally got it sorted by saying I wished to make a formal complaint to be told by the very patronising chap I spoke to said “well, you can of course do that but it’ll make no difference” - my sighing and saying “for goodness sake, this is like something from Kafka” lead to “you are being very aggressive sir and we won’t tolerate that sort of language”. I suggested that, as they were recording the call for monitoring and recording purposes they may wish to review and hung up. Got a call back the same day, they’d ‘found’ the police letter we’d sent in4 months earlier, could understand our frustration and the money was in our account within days.

TL;DR insurance is a ballache

Cunts that renew subscriptions / memberships without so much as an email warning or anything

Aye, fucking renewed my Private Internet Access the other day like this and I wanted to sack it off....

Got stung for over £100 for a renewal of my LCC membership (probs would have renewed anyway, but it would have been polite to ask instead of just taking the cash from my account and sending me a letter saying thanks for the money), and then for a subscription to The Athletic (definitely wouldn’t have renewed as haven’t read it in ages, also it’s a full price subscription and I only took out a subscription because it was on offer).

Athletic subscription was through PayPal so I’m hoping I can claw that back but I’m not holding my breath. Can’t really afford this shit right now, the wankers.

You just reminded me I got stung by them last time. Just checked and it was going to auto renew again in 11 days!

Bloody awful VPN had nothing but problems with it.

Audible, Eurosport and several others have had me this year alone. Mostly because I’m a sucker for a ‘free’ trial.

As a result of my experiences I am now convinced that insurance companies agree knock-for-knock (regardless of obvious culpability) to reduce costs all round.

bitter almonds

Twats who leave broken glass all over shared-use paths. Changing a tube on a wheel covered in leaf mulch and goodness knows what else is not fun.

Even more fun when you've got a dog! I'm constantly worried about mine stepping in a pile of leaves/broken Dolmio jars.

Cunts who park in the air and water parking spot

Oops!

Cunts who park in the air and water

better

The gammon (it’s always gammon) who confidently stride along the right hand side of NCN paths in the country causing mayhem on busy cycle paths.

Walk on the fucking left you utter caricature.
Yeah I know on a country road you walk on the right, but this is a path and you will cause a crash you stupid cunt. Do you think you are right and the 150 people that had to swerve to avoid you are somehow wrong?

Not long after arriving in Oz I was pootling along the waterfront on my polo bike, enjoying the day and the beautiful view at Suttons Beach, QLD... Up ahead was a long line of people coming towards me blocking the entire width of the path, I didn't have any space to get past so I slowed right down and politely dinged my compliancy bell...

Nobody made a space so I had to stop, one of their number, a gammon faced Scotsman in his early 70s came right up to me, straddled my front wheel, got in my face and told me that if I'd run into him he would've kicked my head in...

I politely reminded him that as he was over twenty years my senior and well out of shape that I think he would struggle to make good on that statement... I asked him to back the fuck up before I decked him in front of his mates, he complied without hesitation...

TBH I wish I'd decked him there and then but it was such a nice day and I was so chill that it seemed a shame to ruin the moment... Humans are vile creatures... #csb

Thin gravy. If I wanted wet tasteless food I’d run it under the tap.

If the stirring spoon stands up, its just about right (for me)