I confess...

i'm 35 but when i go upstairs I still bound on all fours like a dog, child, or macaque

My father did that well into his fifties. I think he's stopped now, but he is in his late seventies.

I am going to try it, right now.

I always do double steps unless it's essentially physically impossible, downwards I favour either super quick ninja steps or dog based just mash leg buttons until you're at the bottom.

mash leg buttons until you're at the bottom

Something really satisfying about doing this. Also never fails to generate a quizzical look from my wife

great content here guys and I'll add this:

if you scoot up stairs involving your hands, you can very deftly play the "three toms and a kick" drum fill intro to Rosanna by toto on the top three stairs. one movement without breaking stride.

I invented a new stair technique where you assume the push up position on the stairs and then hop your whole body up to the next step. Do it as fast as you can, it’s the future!

Another technique is to double up, going as fast as you can upstairs but both feet must touch each step. Just another way to rediscover the lost joy of moving between floors.

And if you wear a singlet it will teleport you back to athletics training as a teen in an empty Isthmian league grandstand.

If I see a very low wall/railing/piece of timber on the ground or sometimes just the kerb I walk up and down them like a tightrope walker.
I’m 51 at Xmas

I do a two-handed vault over railings on dual carriageways and the like when I don't want to use the underpass. I shall continue to do this until I break an ankle or hip. I'm a 60 year old ticking time bomb.

Ooh, only works with slippy socks but you can sometimes do a two footed bump slide down, catching just the edge of each step and try and get all the way down, a worn wooden staircase is best but knackered carpet works too. Usually ends up with socks being further on than ever before and may end in falling but is fun if done right. Also like the clear as many steps as possible big jumps holding the wall, sometimes offices or carparks will have 2 flights per floor things where you can do the lot in one jump and feel like a boss by the time you've decended 6 floors in 12 movements.

When I left school I formed a punk band with some friends. Our oeuvre was inspired by a love of existential literature and swearing (example song title ‘Telling Lies about Josef K (Cunt!)’). We hired a room above a local pub for rehearsals that was home to the pub’s giant alsatian dog, who regularly left a massive turd on the stage for us to clear up before we began. One time, we were interrupted by the stripper the pub employed who came in to put her clothes back on.

I was in a punk band. We played a Sunday afternoon gig in a skittle alley in Glyn-Neath. The support act was a stripper. Her mum (about 75 years old) stood beside the stripper catching her clothes. It was some kind of allegory.
Then we went on...
The crowd started shouting “strippers strippers” “get em off lads”. It began to escalate further and the audience started to bowl the the skittle balls down the alley at us.
We were paid £120 for that gig.

No dog eggs though

Literally sprayed my tea out reading this.

Presumably you did get them off?

The joys of the working club circuit :)

Our drummer probs got his arse out

That's drummers for you.

I'm not ready to let the stair-chat go yet.

In an old shared house I lived in, the floors were kind of staggered. It resulted in a flight of stairs that was a little under half the usual height. You could take a bit of a run up in the corridor then dive upwards, ending up lying face down on the floor of the next level. Most of the time you'd end up kneecapping yourself on the top step.

I once played a gig at a crap pub in Southampton. Midway through our set, some hammered old bloke wandered in off the street, starting dancing like a maniac, got completely nude and got in a fight with a man dressed as a skeleton (at least I assume it was a man dressed as a skeleton, I suppose it could have just been a skeleton). Best reception we've ever had.

crap pub in Southampton

Is there any other kind?

was it this one?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0P5YCZF1d_Q

Jesus

The Hobbit serves luminous Lord Of The Rings themed cocktails in pint glasses. Depends on how you feel about that sort of thing I suppose.

Surely that was footage of the last Lufguss shindig ?