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  • Imagine you’re one of the people who subscribes to a delivery of the express every day. Imagine that carriage clock ticking, only interrupted by the sound of your immersion filling or those godawful kids kicking that ball too close to the roses again. The smell of moth balls and the thrill of a Kipling pink slice to whet the whistle before Countryfile. An illicit bathroom half mast thumb shuffle to thoughts of Fiona Bruce and an early night, content in the knowledge that the purple bird doings rinsed off the Honda Jazz paintwork without causing what you’d thought would be irreparable damage. Good night... another trying day tomorrow, half an eye on the horizon - waiting for the inevitable hoards to finally gather. Meanwhile there’s still the memory of our beloved Diana, a saint among us despite the havoc she wrought on our heraldry. Good night our princess, goodnight flame effect safety candles, goodnight coasters, good night double lined draft curtains, good night sofa leg carpet protection cups, good night anti slip mat, good night Lakeland catalogues. Good night.

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