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  • Pro tip: If you're going to move back towards the general area where you grew up to have kids and be nearer family and friends, etc i would say don't half-arse it. Live near enough that they can easily help with childcare i.e be close enough that they can be there in minutes and spend enough time with the baby that they can settle it and cuddle it back off to sleep in the night. Or buy a house with a spare bedroom so they stay over if needed. If you don't do either of these you may as well be in another country as far as effective childcare support goes.

    We got this calculation slightly wrong and bought a house we love in a small town we love, 40 mins drive from the in-laws (and 2 hours drive from my parents) with no spare room. My wife and I were/are therefore the only people who can settle the kids at night. As a result we haven't been out for a date or meal without the kids for five years.

    *twitches eyelid

  • buy a house with a spare bedroom so they stay over if needed.

    This is my plan. Be about an hour’s drive from my parents but with the ability to accommodate them. The notion of living close enough to my parents that they could just drop round whenever they wanted fills my blood with ice.

  • We’re 20 mins from my parents and 90 from my inlaws. We’ve told both of them that although they have keys, if they want more grandchildren they will arrange visits in advance and never let themselves in.

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