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@pdlouche
Once I hosed the bead and rim with super slippery stuff until it was more slippery than a slippery thing, I managed to get the spare-spare tube in without snake bites.
Some superficial damage to the edge of the tyre bead but I assume it’s not going to affect integrity of the tyre. Not with how much of a bitch it was to fit, and how far away from the hook of the rim it is.
Took for a quick ride around town and mostly sat in traffic. Tyre didn’t deflate or fall off the rim.
Off to get a second wheelset tomorrow, mechanics will fit Avon Trailriders for me. Hopefully they live on the bike except for specific dirt riding days, and I have a more confidence inspiring experience on the road. Especially with the upcoming rain-until-June.