• The beige Toyota Corolla, like all my dad's cars was absolutely mint when he sold it. When I went to sixth form college it was in the car park, absolutely wrecked. It was like the 'after' version of the Father Ted prize Rover 213. It was owned by one of the teachers, who said 'a few people have crashed into me'. Apparently he'd been in 6 accidents, none of which, of course, were his fault.

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