I hate

Re: Facebook Marketplace
Put an almost new GP5000 tyre (£38 new) on at the weekend for £20 on the basis that I wanted to offer it to members of my cycling club before putting it on ebay. I'm not out to try and rip anyone off and I have a pretty good nose for what stuff sells for.
Got a message saying 'Will you take £10 and I'll take it off your hands today?'. So basically this thing that's already an absolute bargain and you STILL want to offer me HALF the asking price??? oh but OK, well I suppose it is taking up a lot of room being a fucking foldable bike tyre and to get rid of it today would really help me out...WTF!!!!!
I take shit like this too personally. Blocked the twat; put the tyre on ebay for a slightly higher price to allow for fees and sold it inside an hour!

The ‘man cave’ thing.

A neighbour just asked me if I was having one in our house when the extension is done.

I wanted to say ‘no because I’m 39 and I’m allowed to do what I want and I married someone I don’t hate and feel the need to avoid’.

But obviously I just said ‘ha ha - no’.

That’s related to something I hate, which is the whole ‘wife as ball and chain, bender of ear, destroyer of fun’.

Mate, your marriage might be a vortex of anguish from which you cannot escape, but I married my wife because I’m happy to spend time in her vicinity.

Should rename it wank den.

Totally agree with that, and I am aware that that strain of “humour” is pretty endemic in our culture and that it would be good to see it eradicated. In my case, it’s not so much a case of being in “trouble” with Mrs Ludd as it is of plain embarrassment about my lack of decisiveness and my fickleness. And I am glad to have her sensibleness around as well as the other stuff.

The correct term is mastabatorium

Where did rep go? This is deserving.

Just seen a Facebook advert for poppy face masks and struggled to keep my tea down.

@amey

IKEA.
Need a desk as WFH is being extended,
Online said 10+ adjustable legs in stock, shelves had 2.
Table needs 4.

autotune

Not a Cher fan eh

Fitting mudguards. About 5 hours in and still not finished fucking about.

Used to love the ping of those SKS nuts as they skitter across an unsealed floorboard followed by silence as they unerringly drop through a gap.

(threadlock on the nuts, helicopter tape on the floor)

Something to do over the course of an evening in a warm kitchen with a beer.

Trim the struts outside with a grinder the following day.

I've gone for bolt cutters. Anyone who fully fits their guards, carefully marks the stays where they need to be trimmed, fully disassembles them, cuts the stays with a hacksaw, then refits them (as suggested by the instructions) is a fucking maniac.

Dremel in situ.

(Also use Dremel to round off the ends so you don't repeatedly stab/scrape yourself on them or have to bother with plastic caps on the ends that always fall off anyway.)

I should buy a dremel...

plastic caps on the ends that always fall off anyway.

Whaa? Reporting 9 years of service.

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I’m straight but the phrase “Man Cave” suggests an actual cave full of butch leather bears with big taches dancing listlessly to electro pop.

“Do you have a man cave?”
-Yeah Wanna see it? HEY kids shall we throw Dave in the MAN CAVE?

Triple cooked chips on a pub lunch menu.
Thrice those fuckers have been cooked, but somehow are still shit.

I hate the smell of rehydrated dog shits after it rains.

I just can’t keep up with these faddy diets

Angle grinder. Loads of sparks = great fun. £25 from Screwfix.