Want me to see if my broker would be willing to take a look? He's apparently directly in touch with the underwriters at quite a few lenders so has been able (in the past, and not for me) to get past the initial "computer says no" responses.
Sorry to hear this, was going to offer to put you in contact with my mortgage guy but can see your reply to Stevo.
Hope this isn't impacting your (mental) health too much, I can't imagine its not, but hope the impact isn't too big and you've got folks to support you.
EWS! update: Second valuation of £0 - this time from Barclays, previously from Halifax. FML