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I should perhaps add that a listed building that has been properly maintained and doesn’t need to be altered to suit your needs could be fine. The frustrating thing about our works is that about 90% of the cost is remedying damage done by the previous owner, both before and after it was listed and a combination of neglect and abuse. Only a tiny bit of our spend is on making actual changes, and they are minor internal works like taking out a hideous open tread staircase from the middle of the sitting room. We could have saved a hell of a lot of money if we had decided just to decorate over the crimes of the past.
This sounds troubling, I wish you the best. I’m idly looking in an area where a large proportion of the houses are listed (but largely mud-free!) so hoping the conservation officer isn’t too jobsworthy. If I add being listed to the dealbreaker pile then things get much trickier, but the flip side is as much as I like burning piles of money in arbitrary pursuits, I’d rather not be pouring endless sums into a property forever.