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The annoying thing is that she seemed very reasonable when we made the offer, in that it was specifically stated that she didn't want a bidding war as she'd got over asking price and was happy just to have the best-fit people get it.
The level of self-sabotaging i-don't-know-what head in sand bullshit and dickheadedness going on now makes me want to tell her to go fuck herself.
But I want the house.
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This is where it gets really tricky. Old houses need work. There's always something to fix. It's not totally unreasonable for her to think 'that shit was priced in'.
Or maybe it is. This stuff is hard.
As above, that she's dropped the price at all is a good start. Make the EA earn his fee and negotiate further. And get on Rightmove and start looking for other houses as you might need to find another one!
Buying a house is already one of the most stressful things you can do in your life. Add in dealing with a dickhead vendor and then finding the funds to sort the place out to make it safe and habitable would make me take a hard pass on that sale thanks.