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This is true. But the car was only £2600 in the first place. And it seems like it shouldn't be impossible. It's also driving me insane trying to get any info out of youtube as car washing and scratch repair seems to be a particular niche that is in such demand all the videos are 25 fucking minutes long.
By the time you've bought the touch-up paint, the lacquer, the polishing compound and the kit to use it properly, it'll be cheaper to get a professional to do it for you, and they'll do a better job.