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Without knowing the details of your friend, I’d suggest the main difference is that Morillo reportedly had a pattern of predatory and abusive behaviour towards women.
Saying nothing would be better, but saying things like “he wasn’t perfect”, “he was complex”, “he had his failings”, etc. as a euphemism for he was a rapist, makes it very clear which side you (not you personally) stand on.
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I can't find anything about his behaviour towards women other than his recent arrest. Not before his death anyway. Perhaps his friends weren't aware of his reputation?
I just wonder what the average person would do if their close friend was arrested for rape and killed himself within a month or two. That's not much time to process what takes a long time to process.
Anyway, it's not a point really worth debating. The fact people think they are diminishing rape culture even though I don't think that is clear has the same effect as if they were.
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David Graeber. RIP
That is a shame. I only knew of him because of the videos he made about anti-semitism (which are not mentioned in the Guardian obituary below), but he seems to have been a good egg.
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Strange argument... He's been called out by those he's abused, his mates are apologising for his behaviour and you're still on the fence?
Do you know anyone who's been sexually abused? Might help unfog your mind a bit...
Sorry, didn't see this until now. You have missed my point. I'm arguing that his mates might not be apologising for his behaviour.
I think it is a faulty assumption to say his mates are apologising for his behaviour given that they might not be familiar with the accusations. You might be suprised how often people aren't fully aware of an aspect of a friend's life when it might be obvious to other people outside a friendship group. I was simply trying to point out that when somebody you cared about dies, it take some time to process your feelings especialy if they have been accused of a crime and that accusation doesn't align with your personal experience of that person.
How often have you heard "he's not that type" or "he never did anything to me" to defend a rapist? This often isn't because those people are apologising for the rapists behaviour, in some cases its because they never saw that side to the person. Its a complex thing for a human brain to process and I don't think its valid to jump on a tweet to this effect unless its clear they genuinely are being rape apologists.
I also think that given that a majority of sexual abuse victims are abused by family members or friends of family who "aren't that type" and its really important to keep sight of the fact that a sex offender can be somebody who you'd never suspect.
I've read a bunch of the tweets referenced up thread and can't find any from his friends defending or apologising his behaviour in relation to the accusations against him. its easy to say that somebody had a reputation without realising that not everybody would have been aware of that reputation.
And yes, sexual abuse has touched my life and plenty of lives of people I care about. Not sure why that is relevant. I'm not on the fence. Rape is bad. People who are aware of his reputation should denounce his behaviour. Its wrong to assume that the people grieving the loss of their friend are rape apologists after reading a tweet.
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Although, clearly I'm in a minority on this one. It does seem to be the popular opinion that a convicted or charged sex offender should be dehumanised immediately and unequivocably by literally everbody including their closest friends. Just feels that this sort of feeds back into rape culture itself...if every rapist is portrayed as a monster, then people will continue looking to protect themselves and their families from monsters rather than reality that most rapists gain access to their victims by being liked and trusted.
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I think, and I don't know the situation that well, but people who knew he was a wrong 'un and then didn't do much (apart from when A. Beedle punched him for being a bell in a different situation) and then others who didn't know but have heard what he was up for and then defend him probably makes the situation not great.
You've got people saying "yeah, knew he was a wrong'un" but didn't do anything and then people who didn't know saying "he never raped me" and in between all of this is 50% of the world's population wondering what the fuck is going on.
And then a small subset arguing the fucking toss about the whole thing. -
I think, and I don't know the situation that well, but people who knew he was a wrong 'un and then didn't do much
From what I have read, he was charged with the sexual battery charge and after his death a bunch of further allegations have become public knowledge. There are lots of people saying "yeah, he had a reputation".
Perhaps I just haven't seen these comments from friends acknowledging he was a wrongun.
I did see one shitty tweet from his record label boss talking about his reputation being tarnished. That is a despicable thing to say about a man who was facing trial for sexual battery.
Curiously the cause of death has been delayed because the coroner isn't sure it was suicide rather than accidental drug overdose.
Anyway, feeling a bit on the defensive just in case people think I'm apologising for him which I hope it is clear I am not.
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Just other DJs who knew.
Maybe I just haven't been able to find any statements from DJ's who knew he was a rapist but this does sound to me like another assumption.
How does it work in America? I assume it won't go to trial because he is dead. If other people lodge police complaints, will there be an investigation?
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This is an outstanding post by somebody who knew the man. https://www.facebook.com/richardwestmrc/posts/10164062504755282
Correct in every way apart from the assumption that all who knew him must have been aware of the existence and scale of the accusations against him.
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Diana Rigg who played Peel in the Avengers and was James Bond's only wife has also died today. In OHMS it seems she didn't get on with George Lazenby (James Bond) but denied that she'd eaten garlic before their intimate scenes :)
Looks like her last role was Mrs Pumphrey in the current adaptation of All Creatures Great and Small on C5.
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@johnnyhotdog
David Graeber. RIP