Moving out of London

How could I, my grandad was from Somerset, or at least I think he was, both set of granddads origin stories are shrouded in mystery. One thing's for certain; he sounded and looked like a farmer.

For me personally?

Cons: Leaving family and friends behind, the physical isolation, being so far away from the people you love is a total headfuck, living near your in-laws, suburban life, culture shock, lack of diversity, being surrounded by racist pricks, white privilege, switching careers.

Pros: Sunshine on tap, amazing landscape, living near the water, standard of living, having to learn to drive, cheap property, cheap guitars, switching careers.

It's a high price to pay for some creature comforts. I came out here to support my OH but it's been very hard on us both.

Moving out of London has started becoming a real option in my life. My other half part owns a flat in NW10, not exactly central but near the tube, but now we want something a bit bigger, a real second bedroom for a potential sprog, ideally a garden too. We both earn alright but that doesn't get you that far in London. The difficulty is that if she does squeeze one out she won't be able to work for a while, and doing something remote or part time will make child care easier too, this means if we get a mortgage at the max we can afford now we may be screwed when the monster appears.

So we're now looking at what we could afford on my salary alone if it comes to it and for the kind of place we want that's meaning we're now looking at Dagenham, Romford etc. Essex rather than London. First question, anyone do this commute? What's it like on public transport as well as cycling?

I grew up in the North so when we realised we'd have to downgrade our expectations a lot I thought of Leeds. You can get something literally twice the size for 2/3 the price. My work has a small office up there and I know some other tech company have opened offices there recently, but there's a chance I could work remotely too. Second question, what kind of things should I sort out if I am serious about moving to a new city? How do people get a feeling for an area or neighbourhood?

The main thing that scares me about leaving London is not knowing anyone in the new area, especially if I do end up working remotely, I don't want to become a hermit. I guess I could join a cycle club up there but Third question, how have other people dealt with this?

Am I mad to think Dagenham is so far out of London I may as well be in Leeds? For example these are the kinds of places we're looking at:

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-96576704.html

for nearly half the price:
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-96084623.html

For the not knowing people aspect, say yes to any and every social invite for a while. The people you initially meet might not be right but they’ll be your ticket to meeting other people (and so on).
It took us around a year to build a small circle (mostly other people moved from London) and three years on we’re pretty maxed out for friends.

I live in Romford on this road which I really like.
I had a lot of the same concerns as you re. not knowing anyone and concerns about being further out of town.
I have lived here for just under two years now and for the most part these have been unfounded. Of course, there are occasions where I'd like to pop in to town, which would have been far easier from E3, where I lived before...
You're really not that far away - 20mins to Liverpool St on the fast train is a breeze and the cycle is fine too - I'm really missing it during WFH. You just have to accept that you're a bit further away. I certainly doesn't (or didn't before lockdown) stop me doing London things and socialising.
I would say that I haven't found much to do in Romford socially aside from eating/drinking but I've been busy sorting out the house, so haven't needed a 'hobby'. We also move there with the intention of having a baby sometime fairly soon, so confident that we'll make friends through NCT classes etc. That's the plan anyway...
In short, we have a 2/3 bed house, 100ft garden and back on to a nice park and it cost a third of the equivalent house in E3, which we will never be able to afford.
Feel free to PM me to discuss more and if you head out this way, I'll be free for a hang!

I’ve not lived in Leeds for 30 years but back then Chapeltown could be a bit lively.

I moved out of london beginning of july, to the west of Ireland.

Mrs. Colm89's family live here but otherwise I don't know anyone. I joined the local cycling club and have met a group of lads at a similar level to me, most of whom are also blow ins to the area, that i now ride with every sunday. I probably wouldn't call them to go for a pint, not yet at least, but my family and friends are all around Dublin which is really only a 3 hour drive away so not the worst.

We've not been here too long, but it certainly needed an initial adjustment, moreso from me, because I've never lived more than a 30 min cycle from a capital city.

moved (post-child) from london to manchester 2 or 3 years ago, and it's been a good move, overall. after we had a kid we stopped going out anyway, so we weren't really making the most of london – although that would have probably got back into it as the kid got older.

there's no way i would consider living in the south east outside of inner london, but my partner and me are both from the north. we moved to within about an hour's drive of our parents, which is just enough. for me, personally, you may as well live in manchester/leeds/liverpool/sheffield/bristol etc. rather than the outskirts of london anyday.

most of my old school mates are in and around manchester, but i don't see them as often as i'd like with work, covid, kids, and the fact we're all kind of scattered. i've joined a cycle club and started doing more racing, and joined my local hackspace, so have a loose network from that but not really good mates. that's partly down to me as well - i could try harder. our closest mates now are other parents i've met locally.

housing wise, we went from a 2-bed flat to a 3-bed house with garden and garage, which costs a fair bit less. our situation was complicated because we rented somewhere in between and overlapped ownership. we also went for more affordable north manchester over the more affluent south. when i was looking for somewhere (thread) i had in my mind somewhere out of town in the peak district or somewhere, but gradually we came to realise we like the ability to cycle around and the relative convenience and diversity of the city as a place to raise a kid. living up here for 18 months in a rented place helped us gain a sense of what we wanted and what we didn't – both in terms of a house as well as working, childcare arrangements, schools, etc.

Am I mad to think Dagenham is so far out of London I may as well be in Leeds?

You are more likely to get a decent flat white in Leeds than in Dagenham.

I wish I could move to Leeds. Apparently its the Portland of UK (hipsters not militia).

I'd love to be near these things:
https://wycameras.com/
http://bundobust.com/locations/leeds/

yeah for some reason leeds seems to have more out-there hipsters than manchester

you might have to hear people bang on about the rhinoooooooooos though, which is frankly a chore

Absolutely dreamy, a city (so not as gammony as the sticks), hipsters, half price as London.

Leeds - 1
Frome - 0

And it's Leeds. Dirty dirty Leeds.

I absolutely would not move to Dagenham or Romford. I grew up in Romford and used to hang out with people from Dagenham.

Do not want.

Where are you/partner from and would you consider moving back there or near there? Do you have family (who you like) in other areas of the UK? Some familiarity with an area can make it less alien to move to, but I'm guessing that's a short term benefit - you'd get to know wherever you went. Family is a longer term benefit (you hope).

when i moved "home" to manchester, my dad moved to the wirral and my best mate (apart from amey) moved to amsterdam.

This may seem facetious but honestly, how's the weather in Manchester? I like the city but every time I've been in or near it it's been grey and raining.

The only family I have in the UK is my brother in Edinburgh and hers are in Hungary so we've got no real connections to anywhere else. I've never considered moving to Edinburgh, I'm not sure I'd be able to find work there if I needed to change job.

HMRC are moving their offices from Shipley to Leeds. That's all I know about Leeds.

This is what I've heard but I don't think I'd be hanging out in the area, I'm not really one to just go to the local pub here. So I'm more concerned about the commute and the house prices. The problem is for our budget there isn't much of London available that wouldn't mean spending £8k a year on a train ticket to get to work.

I grew up in the south of England, have lived in London for the last 23 years - mainly anyway.

The weather puts me off heading north tbh, I think if you're going to exist in perpetual freezing twilight whilst it pisses down you may as well go the whole hog and move to Scotland or one of the Nordic countries.

You start like that, but then the constant going into London on the train gets a bit taxing so you either venture out of the house in the local area or just stay at home which ends up making life a bit shit.

Plus, it sounds like eventually, maybe after a few years, you're planning on having a kid. When that happens you definitely need local amenities and local entertainment.

It's not exactly a wasteland, there's plenty of places to eat, parks, loads of people and families, it's just so mediocre.

Yeah being somewhere that has its own nice little high street in walking distance would be ideal, the difficulty is my other half works long hours, usually finishing at 7 or 7.30 so if we moved out to somewhere a bit more suburban like Uxbridge or Epsom then the commute would be too long and she'd be getting home real late every day.

I can't believe people are talking up Leeds. It doesn't matter how good it gets, you're just not allowed to. Go buy a street in Hull instead.

Hull doesn't even have internet. There's a reason the main attraction is literal sea creatures.

Incorrect. Hull has its own telephone network and had internet TV in the late-90s. I shit you not. Paging @Skülly