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It seems to me that what Dammit needs to do is buy a house in France and leave the bikes there. Then he won't need a Caravelle.
I'm tempted to take a couple of hundred thousand out of my flat here to buy a flat there, then split my time between the two - but the Brexit and therefore taxation situation has rather thrown a spanner in that.
Reading it back it does sound more bitchy than I intended.
It was more about the fact that regular sized estates are similar in size to regular sized saloons and hatchbacks. If you want a properly big boot then you need a properly big car to start - like a Passat or an E Class. There is just no way of getting around that.
The same applies to getting a VW T#. If the dream is having vertically standing massive MTBs with their front wheels on and adults in the back then again you need a properly big van not a SWB one. Happy to be proved wrong, but I doubt that you can stand 3 full sus bikes with wheels in the back of a standard T5/6 with the back seats in. And it definitely wouldn't have a sink and hob. So to avoid having the same "didn't buy an E-Class", dammit needs a LWB Caravelle/similar.
FWIW I do actually like the idea of a camper and aspire to take a year out and travel round Europe in one. The logic there would be that; 1) a decent size vehicle would have to used for some bits of it and buying rather than occasionally renting seems to make more sense; 2) over a 9-12m period it should save on hostels/airbnbs even if you do mix and match at some points. It also means you don't have to be quite so brutal about what you take vs backpacking.