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We’re driving, looking at it if we drive to Aachen we can go through Germany (no quarantine required), then it’s 3.5 hours to Calais, which we can do without stopping, and then we’re on the train still in the car until we’re back in the UK.
As far as I can see this is within the guidelines and means we would not require isolation when we get back.
I mean. Game it all you like.
You could find out the local transmission rate for where youre stopping, calculate the incidence and prevalence in the town you stop at.
Then throw it all out of the window because you'll be on a train with all the other people.