I confess...

How dare you shit in your own toilet, in your own house. Reprobate.

Although, deal breaking criteria for the new gaff will be number of toilets > 1. At the current front runner, n=3. Errrr body gon be shittin at once! I think we'll need walkie talkies to properly revel in the glory of it all.

Errrr body gon be shittin at once!

Yep, and that's when the postman will knock at the door

Euph?

When I was a teenager my dad used to take the most heinous shits with the bathroom door wide open. I think it was a dominance thing. It culminated in one of my friends walking in on him and him staring him dead in the eye and saying "I see you've found the toilet".
My mum convinced him to put a hold on his open plan dumping when we had people over after that.

I suppose what I'm saying is you shouldn't feel too bad @greenhell, sounds like she got off lightly.

They'd understand when I explain the 3 shitter situation.

That is 100% what I will be doing when mini_com is older. Amazing.

now that mention it, i could have gone upstairs. why didn't i just go upstairs??

Your house. You shit where you like.

Also this. In dreamhousethatweprobablywon'tget, trap #3 is just off the kitchen diner. Power play gold.

i think two years of NS has made me overly sensitive to the movements of others.

sharing one toilet between 50 lads who subsist on a diet of powdered eggs, tinned pilchards and low grade industrial coffee will do things to you.

flashbackdog.gif

I'll save you a special seat at the housewarming.

You get to show off Aesop stuff in your house to your guests and you also don't stink them out before they've seen it.

do these actually work?

No but they look great on the shelf

dunno what passes for polite behaviour in Aesopland, but shoving poo through people's letter boxes is frowned upon round these parts.

Yeah, I think the perfume of the oil is secondary to the fact it will create a surface on top of the water to stop the stink getting out

to quote the great @Chalfie - the worst smell in the world can be found in a ladies stall where someone has tried to disguise the smell of a turd with cheap, superdrug perfume.

obviously this raises a number of other questions which frankly i'd appreciate an answer to as much as anyone.

One of the houses that I looked at had a toilet that had been created by partitioning off a corner of the kitchen, the door opened directly into the kitchen.

We decided that was a deal-breaker.

This one is similar, but it is a shower room / WC. And the single bog in my current flat is technically closer to food prep areas than that one.

I did a case where, when the client bought the house, the bog was in the kitchen. No partition. It also discharged straight into the field behind the house. No sewers, no septic tank. Just a big field of shit, and a lavatory you could sit on while using the cooker. Noice.

What were they contesting/defending? Their right to fertilise??

The people that sold the house still owned the private road than ran along next to the house. There was a bit of a falling out, so the vendors who owned the road put up a six foot high fence along the road, blocking the front door and half the ground floor windows. Amongst other things. Ended up with a 4 day trial in Swansea and a half day in the Court of Appeal. We ended up getting an order requiring them to remove the fence and restraining them from blocking access to the property.

What a shit show.

It was a very odd case. Apparently the other side's daughter had made a non-too-tasteful appearance in a porn mag in her youth. My Instructing Solicitor had tracked down a copy and was very keen to show it to me. I made my excuses, as the old saying goes.