eBay problems, resolutions, shenanigans, questions and info (not bike finds)

I had a couple of things take literally months to arrive from the US recently. Eventually they got to Brussels and took over a month to get from there, I could have walked there, picked the things up and walked back again quicker. But they did eventually arrive.

I've contacted the seller a couple of weeks back they said some really vague thing like 'oh maybe it's lost shall I send it again?'
The answer is 'yes, please'. The second one will arrive first.

OK now my US seller saga has taken some interesting turns.

I messaged them a few times, asking if they had sent the parcel or not. I always got these really terse messages, no ‘Hi!’ or ‘Thanks, Billy’ type stuff, and NEVER actually answering my question, which was ‘when did you actually dispatch it’ and later ‘did you actuslly dispatch it or not’. I was just looking for some assurance that they’d actually sent it, rather than just taking $130 US from me and doing jack shit.

Them I googled the shop, an actual bike shop in Smalltownville Pennsyvania. The google reviews were a litany of ‘oh my god these guys are jokers’ ‘my stuff never came’ ‘they said they sent it but they didn’t’ and ‘I called them and the guy sounded stoned’, all one star review hell.

So I messaged again, saying ‘please answer my question: have you sent it?’. Got another vague reply.

So I called them. The guy sounded depressed to me, not stoned. I was SUPER polite, patient, ‘oh you know it’s been eight weeks now, I’m just calling to check what day you mailed it, because the est. delivery time keeps being pushed back, oh great yeah check at the warehouse for me buddy that would be so helpful, thanks so much I really appreciate your time Billy, have a great day’.

Next day I have another tracking number from ebay, seems like another parcel is being sent. I get another terse ebay msg: ‘we sent your parcel’.

I write back, as civil as I can mange: ‘Hi, please don’t send it now, I’ve really waited too long, I’ll find another rim, can I have a refund please? Here’s the transaction details: xxxxxx’

I get a refund really fast. Surprising.

That was about ten days ago. I buy more expensive stuff, in a colour I don’t much want, from a UK shop. I collect them after paying online.

I have a few days away. I come back to a Post Office card saying I have customs charge of £24. I go to office, I pay it, it’s my rims.

What do I do?! Their comms were so bad, I don’t really feel like paying them the refund back, but I kind of feel bad. Especially for the depressed bike shop guy - what if the $130 comes out of some some poor person’s wages?

What would Jebus do? What would you do? What would @jaygee do?