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distinctly mid-pack in each of them
You're still lapping yourself who would have been sat on the sofa, as the saying goes. I think modern times set extremely a high bar for what people should be achieving, most of us don't get there and beat ourselves up because of it. Strava, Instagram etc. are the culprits. Sounds like you have the right balance there anyway; do what you enjoy, keep active, push yourself a little, don't get too wrapped up in the numbers. It's all good. :)
Squaredisk
I love a bit of exploring, and would not enjoy riding nearly as much without it, yet often ( less often recently ) try to ride a familiar route a bit faster, or do unpleasant intervals on the turbo. I've entered a total of three races in my life and have been distinctly mid-pack in each of them
My main motivations currently seem to be:
1-Having been a fat, inactive kid. I'd like to never return to feeling that way about myself
2-Leading the Epping Forest Badger rides with people who are sometimes half my age, and not wanting to completely embarrass myself by feeling knackered all the time
3-Daydreaming about entering future endurance events, like last year's 24hr attempt