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This, I think is at the heart of it. The issue of trans rights and self-identification (in the legal and social senses) needs to be seen within this context. In some instances adapting things to accommodate trans people removes a lot of that gendered bullshit as a bonus e.g., gender neutral toilets in workplaces (just like the ones everyone has in their house).
On the other hand there are concerns that trans issues actually reinforce gendering through the (mostly subtle, but sometimes not) message that as @user114644 noted i.e., the desire to dress, act, work, fuck someone or otherwise express yourself in a certain way indicates that your gender identity is uncertain rather than indicating that societal pressure around gender roles and expression is just bullshit. At it's most extreme this can come over as the message that your desired lifestyle can only or best be achieved by transitioning.
I think it's absolutely right that we've been moving towards a society in which your chromosomes/genital arrangement affects as little as possible in your life and is of interest really only to your doctor and any potential long-term relationship partner. Against that background, a campaign to ensure that everyone should be recognised as their self-perceived gender seems like a bit of a sideways step, since we're just swapping in self-perception for chromosomes. I mean, we could do it and I think there are very good reasons to do it, I also think that some of the concerns are overstated (not a woman though so take that with a pinch of salt), but it does seem like a temporary step off the positive track we've been heading down.
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ffm
Great post. The main issue is that we live in a gendered society that in its structures (physical and otherwise) does not leave room for people who fall, for whatever reason, outside those structures. These structures don't even serve the people who do fall into pre-existing brackets.