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Oliver Schick-
Ha ha, fair enough. Mine is pretty slapdash (like all of my cooking) but tends to be:
Heat splash of oil on medium heat, add crumbled block of firm tofu.
Add spring onion, sesame seeds and a couple of cloves of garlic.
Add smoked paprika and a fair bit of black pepper.
Cook for a bit, then add splash of light soy sauce and a splash of sesame oil.
Add roughly half a cup's worth of unsweetened oat milk and some nutritional yeast.
Cook until it's the consistency of runny-ish eggs.
I normally top mine with some sliced raw chilli but for some reason my girlfriend has something against setting fire to her mouth first thing in the morning.
ltc
In fact, whilst we're on the topic, what's everyone's tofu scramble recipe? I think mine is pretty good these days but always keen to try new things.