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A glittering career in stand-up awaits!
I wish I'd got far enough into the job to properly fuck it up. I just cut a few lengths of it, offered it up to the wall, saw how awkward it would be to fit it (especially round corners), muttered "fuck this for a game of soldiers" and threw it out in the garden.
Fitting pigs ear handrail to a wall is one of the very few DIY jobs that I've given up on. The problem is that unless your wall is absolutely flat over the full 4m, it won't fit flush. The contact area is also very small, so it's difficult to shim. One option is to fit a long board, about 20 x 1000 x 4000mm, to the wall, which you can more easily put shims behind to create a properly flat surface, then screw the pigs ear to that.
If you do fancy taking it on, I've still got a full length of pigs ear that you could have for much less than it will cost you from Wickes
(if you can pick it up).