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I like that a lot.
FWIW it was almost certainly the dishwasher that did for mine in the first place. Polyurethane varnish might cope with the range of temperature and humidity found in a dishwasher, but I wouldn't risk it myself - perhaps oil it in the much same way wood utensils and worktops are finished?
Edit: just worked out the significance of 'options I have'...
ideally i'd now like to make this dishwasher safe.
options i have:
wax - wood wax, but not specifically waterproof
varnish - whatever is in the shed
resin - i can paint a thin layer on
superglue - rub on, wipe off
i'm not sure any of these will really make it dishwasher proof. Suggestions?