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@CYOA
Loft workbench/table saga appears to have a resolution, or at least another step towards one:
It just so happens that a standard chunk of worktop from KitchenSurplus etc measures 200cm x 96xm x 4cm.
This will comfortably fit through the 70c x 70cm (ish) hatch assuming the ladder is out of the way. I plan to stand beneath on a coffee table so with my arms fully extended I can push it through (possibly with a sling underneath for support) and feed it up through to my wife who will be in the attic to guide it in.
I've ordered it now so if it doesn't work / I break ribs I can always use it to replace our rotten kitchen surface.
I was going to cut it down to about 150cm but actually decided I'd rather like more surface space to work on so have also ordered enough piping and kee klampery to make a frame measuring 70cm height x 80cm depth x 180cm long (including an H bar beneath) leaving a surface overlap of between 8 and 10cm either side for the border.
I've also ordered braked castors so it can be moved around if I need to access lights / camera etc.
Next step is going to be tidying up the walls which are currently nonexistent - just bare beams showing the roof insulation and about 100 years worth of cobwebs, dust and rubble. Would quite like storage built into the eaves and then vertical walls. Is this DIY able or is this realistically now in 'loft convertor' territory?
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On the hoover note, ended up with a Miele C3.
It's ludicrously powerful.
It's also beautifully engineered. Embarrassed for my Dyson.