Does anyone know anything about gardening?

Trees are tough mofos, which anyone who's tried to kill one will confirm, so I'd just lop the fucker off. Angle the cut in such a way that any water will run off, as that's one way it can cause more widespread damage to the tree.

Good to know, thanks

This. Aim to cut perpendicular to the branch so you end up with a circular cut instead of a big oval. Do an undercut first so that the bark doesn’t tear down the trunk and cause a wound. The lower the cut is down the trunk and the larger the diameter the higher the risk though. I’d be inclined to make a couple of cuts further up instead of losing the whole limb but that’s just the hippie-arborist in me talking.
Maggies are tough as nails and can handle losing a limb or two so should be fine.
It looks like it could do with a light thinning through the middle of the lower crown as well. Send the kids up with a pair or secateurs :)

Taking of magnolias...

This week I spent several hours removing a huge mass of Russian vine that had grown over from the neighbour's jungle / fox nursery and more or less smothered my grandiflora.

Yeah, I shouldn't have put off doing this for 3 or 4 years, but I reckon it'll bounce back.

Finished the planter.

Filling was a challenge as I'm now pretty low on compost. So I raided a bit a soil from a couple of discreet spots, mixed with, polystyrene, perlite, and the fowl smelling compost that I moved from the spinning compost into a bin hoping it would dry out. Then topped off with some normal compost.

Going to leave it a week or two to dry out and give the putrid compost a chance to break down. There was a worm and some woodlice so it can't be too bad.

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My apple tree - after a couple of seasons of being blighted by lead curling aphids

Little leaf curling bastards are back. They’re not making particular headway as they’re getting a regular neem-ing, but they’ve got a foothold. Assisted by the fucking ants. Have wrapped some gorilla tape around the bottom of the trunk, hopefully that should stop the little shits in their farming endeavours.

The ants aren't assisting them, they are milking them.

every time i see this thread bumped i'm expecting an answer to the question posed in the title

The answer is "no", I say that as someone who earns a living from the little knowledge I have.

Yes, that’s what I meant by farming endeavours. The ants do assist the aphid’s spread, however, by defending them from predators and making sure that they can multiply in relative safety. Clever stuff for animals so small. I almost feel guilty for the ones that are now stuck fast to gorilla tape, but I do have my tree’s health to think about (not to mention the bumper crop of apples it’s currently developing).

I am Monty Don and so is my wife

am looking for something along the lines of a large sharp metal pole that will get me into some hard compact clay , break up the top 12 inches and allow me to add a bit of compost to loosen it up, have tried the simpler things like trowel and spade but they just don't get into the compact soil, and it's such hard work

any ideas for something i can scavenge or purchase

A pick?

Something like this? I inherited a similar one with my shed, it's very handy to have around as general fucker-upper of shit.

A manual fence post auger gets you well into the clay. Leaves you a nice hole too.
Ask on local Facebook groups if anyone has one you can buy/borrow.

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Depends on your clay...! We have the thickest clay here, and no way is an auger getting through it, we tried, and with one on the back of a tractor at that!

If it is really hard going you can get a steel pole which has a weight along it which moves up and down, so that when you smash it into the ground the weight follows up and gives some extra grunt, something like this, but prob find cheaper versions.

had though about augers but you'd have to do a couple of cm's at a time or the torque forces needed would best a cummings diesel

that chisel and point crow bar looks good, although it might compact the soil further down into an even more impenetrable layer that roots would never get into ... how deep do you go !

pick axe isn't as portable as required, awkward shape

thanks for the ideas might visit b&q and see what they've got on offer

If that's all you want it for, a mattock is probably a good choice.

Digging bars are fun, but more useful if you're hitting rock & concrete.

pick axe isn't as portable as required, awkward shape

Pickaxes / mattocks mostly have removable heads (so that you can replace the handles).

I have one handle with a pickaxe & mattock heads to swap in and out.

It's a combo of those that I use to break up soil / clay / rock / concrete.

well they're things i don't have in the shed so probably worth adding to the tool collection and i can get an idea of how dismantlable they are

bulldog tools, spear and jackson, stanley or another brand ? have a bulldog spade and it seems very well made and nice to use ... apart from being a bit sharp / rough in places on the handle

what have people bought that won't break after a weeks use

Water your patch first,
it'll make things easier.
If you don't want to,
and your clay is keeping pickaxes at bay;
a long metal pike,
chest high,
the sort used to dig in rock.
Slam it downwards,
release your grip went it hits,
repeat.
If your're lucky,
you can then edge backwards using the type of spade utilities workers use in the UK,
they are heavily reinforced with a handle.
Stand on it,
if it went down,
start pushing first,
use the handle for leverage,
repeat.
The argile is so strong and generaly dry round here ,
that for more extensive work ,
and using a demolition hammer it was hard work .

If its really thick, but not too dry yet, then a sharp spade can also help.

I cut a long rectangle, then cut that down into squares, levered up and put to one side. You can then use the spade to cut in into smaller chunks and mix in your compost - a bit like cubes of feta in a salad.

Some of ours could probably be used to make pots with. So if you don't have the same solid lumps that might not be useful.

worth adding to the tool collection

I'll always suggest that a mattock is a must have for any shed.

And a billhook.

[Edit] My Wickes long handled fence spade (£20ish ) is useful for breaking through hard ground - You can get a lot of heft behind it when you spike it downwards.

This year is these things last. These are the last six left in the garden. They haven't flowered often in the 15 years I've lived here. Once they've flowered and my tip is open that's where they are going.

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Good man!
The only good rhodedendron is an ex-rhodedendron.