Does anyone know anything about gardening?

A couple of spare black rattle cans and the rusted gazibo has yielded the first trellis... With another to come, more or less on schedule for the courgette and tomatoes to be planted.

Courgette and tomatoes are coming along, with the courgette being hardened off. Still unsure when to move the tomatoes. Mixed salad is also being hardened off.

Also my squash and corn have germinated, which I'm unsure about.

Plus the last of my seeds finally arrived; gherkin, cucumber, lemon cucumber, and some sort of super cherry tomatoes.

Currently unsure about ground cover and compost. I'm running low, so was just going to put a dab in when planting followed by feed later on. I dug a bit of the last mulch in, so we'll see. Probably going with a weed proof membrain as I've used my mulch and the bottom of the compost heap still looks a bit ropey.

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I've got a clump of bamboo that I want to remove. The root ball is rock hard and my spade does nothing against it. I've removed smaller clumps by digging around and under but this one is too big. Any suggestions for ways to remove it?

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I'd love to tell you that there is an easy way. There isn't. Soak the ground a fair few times, dig around and undermine, that clump should only take a couple of hours at worst. I use a 3 1/2 ton digger.

You could always go for the nuclear option and burn the fucker out.

Bugger, I don't have a digger :(

Looks like some rain this week so I'll have a go after that and then get the hose out.

anyone know what this is? looks like a nut dropped by a swan or a owl or somesuch

if it's a decent tree i can move it from the herb box to the actual garden

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Sweet chestnut?

Re bamboo: root killer will help over a week or so; otherwise pickaxe or mattock and smash out sections at a time...

Definitely correct.

Bobbo; I find flamethrowers excellent for dealing with Jehovah's witnesses, but a bit rubbish for weeds.

Jellybaby; good plan, the suggested mattock would be helpful.

Given I don't have a pickaxe or mattock and both are about the same price which should I buy first? Mattock has two mentions so far so that?

Unless you envisage a 2nd job as a hard rock miner, treat yourself to a mattock.
You do have toe-protected work boots?

A good sharp mattock is a tool that’s a real pleasure to use, can do pretty much anything with one.
The Roughneck brand one from screwfix or toolstation or wherever is the one I use. Just give it a tickle with the angle grinder once in a while to keep it sharp and you’ll be laughing.

You do have toe-protected work boots?

Nope... Good plan, will add to the click and collect list.

With you on the Screwfix mattocks, beyond even an 18 stone brain donor labourer to break one (so far). How's purdah going? I am getting so bored I even repointed my own patio....

Yeah I’m losing my mind too, haven’t dropped a tree in over a month. I might go back to work at the end of the week, most of the other lads stayed on and there’s still some commercial work coming in steadily.
I’ve left all my stumpgrinders in the capable hands of the ops manager who drives plant like a champ so I don’t think anything will go bang in my absence. Just the fact my transit and tool boxes will be a pigsty by the time I get back...

Wooden handled mattock?
They sometimes come with a coating of a varnish. This will give you blisters the first time you use it, (at least).
A light sanding to remove the varnish will prevent the blisters, and you can treat the handle to a light wipe with linseed oil.

Roughneck
They seem mighty popular and out of stock. ScrewFix Verve probably.

https://www.screwfix.com/p/roughneck-5lb-mattock-36/85777

Spend 5mins putting an edge on it but I’ve had this one over 18months of very regular use on my truck and can’t fault it. I def would have broken a wooden handled one in that period.
Edit: didn’t realise it’s out of stock, still available on eBay at least.

Mattock suggestions looks good; it’s all about the undercutting and then leverage to rip off bits of root. Been there....!

My suppliers are coming out of hibernation, will be starting again in a couple of weeks. Have some nice local jobs to do if the risk to everyone is low.

In the meantime, I have actually been riding a bicycle. Novel!

Jelly: only ever buy things you are going to wield with bad intentions if the handles are fibreglass.

Sweet chestnut sounds like it is worth keeping. I'll try and replant it somewhere else in the garden.

I wouldn't unless you have a large garden!

By the time it is large enough to worry about we will have sold the house....

very nice

There's the spirit!
There are two absolutely whopping trees a few doors to either side of us. They are amazing but I wouldn't want them in my garden...