Owning your own home

Interesting, ok so it sounds like you are saying there is no type of consumer level air con / reverse heat pump available - you either go balls deep with industrial and all that it entails or you suck it up. Whilst naked. With a fan.

Pretty much. Modern air con is a heating and cooling system.

When I test you switch it between cooling and heating to make sure you haven't lost gas. I'd expect cooling to be at 5-10°C and heating at 45-50°C to be normal. I've had units in server rooms down to 1.3°C because the room is kept cold continuously and the door is rarely opened.

Don't get me wrong. If I did a new build house with plenty of insulation I'd go for air or ground heat pumps because they are amazing efficient.

They just don't work as a way to solve problems in standard UK housing.

Well our split unit is definitely aimed at domestic users... Works very well, at least 10 below non air conditioned

As I said, split units work. Howard doesn't have outside space (I'm guessing he is in a flat) so the condenser has to be mounted on a outside wall at high level.

Well, we have an inbuilt balcony :)

Already has electricity....

If you want a large cream box on the balcony then a split system is an option open to you.

It will need it's own circuit from the consumer unit. You can't just plug them into a 13A socket.

But you are cooling and heating gas in one unit.

Indeed. It uses a condensor/evaporation cycle to expel hot air out of the room, and blow cold air into the room, with the two halves of the unit separated by a big bog-off block of polystyrene foam to insulate the two. It makes the ouside a teeny weeny bit warmer, and makes the inside of the room significantly colder.

I'm no air-conditioning expert, and maybe this isn't air-conditioning but is instead a 'cold-making room box'. Either way, if @Howard wants to make a room in his place colder, this will do the job. Albeit it's bogging noisy and probably uses as much electricity as a Pornhub data centre in a coronavirus lockdown.

Look at the plate on the back and see what gas it uses. It will be probably propane which is how fridges cool/freeze food.

Might well be propane. Could be boiled unicorn's piss for all I care. It works, and that's good enough for me!

I could accept that. But like you say probably not a DIY job? Who could install for me, if anyone, as it would effectively be done on the sly without council / freeholder permission.

I'm no air-conditioning expert

OK. If Howard wants a cooling system you can buy from Argos then I'll say 'yes'.

As I do have a Air Con certificate and can be considered as an expert (well the employer insurance will cover me) I'll let you tell me better.

No. You can't buy the units or gas to fill them without the paperwork. And anyone who tells you they can is a cowboy.

And as you need pipework and a separate electric supply that will need punching through walls I'm not sure how you can hide the work.

Hole in the wall is easy - the balcony had at one point two doors, the lounge access door was closed up with a window and...plasterboard.

Internal walls are easy, made enough holes in those already...

Separate leccy circuit...not so much.

There are press fit pipe ones aren't there?

(Although, by all accounts I've read, they're a bit shit).

I want aircon - our top bedroom hit 35+ more than once last summer.

OK. I think your best bet is find somewhere local that installs split units. Choose the room or rooms you want to be hot and cold. Then get a quote.

Or, get a small unit from Argos. Make sure the pipe goes out of a window to dump the heat, keep emptying the condensate water and get used to the noise.

As I do have a Air Con certificate and can be considered as an expert (well the employer insurance will cover me) I'll let you tell me better.

Wouldn't dare to. The fact remains it's a box which when running makes the room significantly colder. If noisier. Whether or not that's technically air-con, I've no idea. But if @Howard wants a make-room-cold-box which works, albeit rather noisily and inefficiently, then I'm merely suggesting one of these makes-room-cold-boxes as a possible solution.

Press fit is for water. Air Con has highly pressurised gas and has to be brazed.

See the post above yours.

In the interests of science, I've just fired up the makes-room-cold-box for half an hour. The temperature in the room went from 25.5degC to 20.3degC.

Might not be air-con, but it's good enough for me.

I think your best bet is find somewhere local that installs split units. Choose the room or rooms you want to be hot and cold. Then get a quote.

OK sounds hopeful. I’ll poke about online - any regional or london wide suppliers you’d suggest?

Mind you, it really is fucking deafening. Quite a relief to turn it off.

Might not be air-con, but it's good enough for me.

Yeah I think there’s mileage in these things but like you say the noise and footprint could be problematic.

Sorry but no.

I'm in God's Own Country.

Although you can ask at your local (Google it) Air Con trade desk for recommendations

The single box units are far from ideal. But I use mine only a few days a year, I can drown out the noise with banging tunes and yodelling, and it occupies dead space which I wouldn't use for anything else.

I've got one at work too, with the exhaust shoved up the chimney. I suspect its effects are minimal, but I'm pretty sure Lincoln's Inn wouldn't be keen on me drilling holes in the walls and plonking a condenser unit on their Grade II listed stonework, so there's not really any better options.

Ok! thanks for the help feel like I’ve leaned a few things and have a couple of things to look at 👍

If you have windows that get a lot of sun, fitting solar control film would help.

Awesome, thank you!