Overheard at the LFGSS golf club bar

Ah - the old Teams humblebrag. Classic.

You know you can super-impose your background of choice?

Pffft. Probably has a £10k Ikea hovel kitchen

How

£10k Ikea hovel kitchen

Ouch, think ours cost half of that. Well pleased with it mind you.

How

Hit the '...' button, should be near the blur background option

Yep, as stated above, we've never purchased supermarket bread.

I may be wrong but I think golfers don’t care about artisanal bread.

White sliced Kingsmill (either side of sliced beef and English mustard, tuna and cucumber or smoked salmon) is all fine.

My sisters chicken coup has a solar powered door to close it off at night to stop foxes attacking. After the outlay costs for their run, coup, feed, vets bills and rare breed chickens he reckons faberge eggs would be cheaper.

Edit: I feel a bit guilty posting this from a thread that was created to be entirely positive. It's just too good though.

I think harsh, and not very golf club.

Fyi, solar powered auto chicken coop doors don't have to be fancy. Here's 7 minutes of your life you can spend not staring at the wall:

https://youtu.be/fX6rSd_Ql-E

On the chicken theme.

I got some of these eggs, not really up to scratch... yolk colour comparable to basic free range eggs in local supermarket. I was hoping they would compare to Sainsbury's golden yolked or Buford browns, but they don’t.

"I may be wrong but I think golfers don’t care about eggs."

Might go for something like this though ...

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Down to the last two packs of eggs in Sydenham Saino, both of them
quails eggs and I just bought one of them.

I take your egg based histrionics and I raise you.

Far worse. He was the driver of a skip lorry.

I take your egg based histrionics and I raise you.

You're taking a "won't someone think of the other golfers!" angle here?

they certainly trump your humble hen's in terms of aspirational poncyness; definite golf club fare.

What do you get the man who has everything?

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Not looking to spend more than a couple of weeks pay, say £7-8k.

Pukes on cock, grabs pitchfork and heads for the Bastille

Do they allow forrins in golf club?

You cheeky cunt! That wasn’t a class thing. I was saying that as a 5g truther, it was concerning he’s in charge of 15 tonnes of machinery and hardcore.

Have you heard about this fucking petition?!!

http://chng.it/LvFvjtPpHJ

Great idea.

I reckon a toilet roll would fit perfectly in the hole on each green. Us commoners who didn't panic buy crapping paper can rock up, tear off a few sheets, and go for a pooh in one of the bunkers, or in the rough for those so inclined.

I'm sure the golfists would be honoured to have provided such a service to the nation at this time.

Yeah. But bits awkward.
Chat on the fairways is always derogatory.

Maybe I got the wrong end of the shitty golf club. Club membership revoked if so.

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Read like that, it looks awful but that’s not the full picture.

Might stay in the club thanks. I look great in a white Titleist polo shirt.

I look great in a white Titleist polo shirt.

FUCKING PROVE IT!!