• dog walking off lead have also been banned in the Royal Parks.

    Loads of people had their dogs off the lead in Greenwich Park this morning, despite very clear signage on all entrances. I would normally go up to them and call them cunts, but as most of them are my neighbours, I thought it best not to.

    In the meantime, look out for an overweight middle aged man letting his dog go bat-shit crazy on the heath.

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