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GoatandTricycle
You see, I feel this needs some clarification. "slicing some habanero, "washing" your hands for 20 seconds and then having a wank" makes it sound as if you've stopped mid food prep to engage in a bout of onanism, with the intention of returning to finish cooking one your self-lust has been sated. "dinner's going to be ready 3-4 minutes later, love"
Or maybe that's exactly what happened, who am I to judge?