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"Mom."
I was respecting the form, as far as I could at my age. I used it today strictly for topicality, and even if I got in to the habit I would hope to resist such low hanging fruit in the normal run of events.
The maternal insult is not a trope which comes instinctively to me, for despite it's great age, it was not at all common in my youth; I'm far more reflexively drawn to the bishop/actress doubles entendres which were a commonplace around our family dining table when I were a lad.
"Mom."
mdcc_tester: as American as apple pie.