Chat about Novel Coronavirus - 2019-nCoV - COVID-19

Its okay, I'll make you wear a mask before you come in.

@Chalfie they’ve updated the gov site showing one death...

Only as an FYI to our discussion the other day

Fancy a Fray Bentos pie now.

Anyone desperate enough for tinned meat curry/stew.

I'm sure there was an extensive discussion about bidet use and toilet paper only months ago on another thread

Fixies -> road bikes -> Brompton -> Gravel -> Steel hardtails -> bikepacking -> bidets

I can confirm my local MEGA-Asda in Leyton is totally out of pasta (except lasagne).

A staff member told me people had purchased whole trolley-loads.

Cleaning sprays with bleach also seemed popular.

Just go aldi, stuff seemed fine when I was in earlier. The staff text me sometimes about cakes so I'll just ask them to get me stuff so I don't die.

We are a family of five, we use 1.5 rolls of toilet paper a day. As luck would have it I bought 24 rolls on Tuesday, before the panic set in, but we are now down to 21. I am starting to get worried.

Not fussed about food, just bum wiping

We are a family of five, we use 1.5 rolls of toilet paper a day.

I look forward to the forthcoming toilet roll consumption discussion.

(Family of 3, probably only use 2-3 rolls a week.)

I saw that on the United website:

By Presidential Proclamation, travel restrictions are in place for travelers who have visited the People’s Republic of China or the Islamic Republic of Iran in the past 14 days. Customers who are U.S. citizens or lawful permanent residents will be subject to additional restrictions and health screenings on arrival to the United States. Non-U.S. citizens who have visited mainland China or Iran in the past 14 days will not be allowed to enter the United States.

When my girlfriend gets toilet paper off the roll, it sounds like a fishing reel does when there's a whopper on the hook trying to escape

did lol

How many cases does a county need to be placed on a travel ban list? When does the UK land on it? 50ppl?500ppl? 5000 or 50000? What's the critical number?

I'm going to get through the toilet paper crisis by not using toilet paper or anything for that matter. Just use your hands.

I've already started practicing weeks ago in a concerted effort to be self sufficient by the time it hits.

I try to poo on company time which means I don’t get through a huge quantity of toilet roll at home, worried about how much I might actually need if I have to quarantine. What’s the average amount needed for 14 days per person?

I suppose using your hands would help with not touching your face?

depends if your partner has to fashion some kind of toilet roll catching mitt to wipe herself after a piss or not, or, if you're one of these healthy vegan people that takes a shit after every meal.

I clench on my morning commute to ensure that I'm getting paid to poo once I'm on the clock.

Excellent detail.
Thank you.

We buy packs of 24 bog rolls just because it’s cheaper.

Surely it’s cheaper to buy in bulk rather than just for the weekend?

Friend who started, but didn't finish, SAS training was taught how to use a single sheet of paper :

Tear off a corner and keep it safe.
Stick finger through paper and then up bum.
Pull finger out, wiping it and bumhole clean as you do.
Clean under your finger nail with the afore-kept corner.
Burn or bury all paper to remove evidence of your presence.

I'm enjoying the high risk game many are playing in the hope workplaces don't run out of toilet rolls.

I'm enjoying these bum-related posts immenseley.

I note that none of you joking about the shortage of loo roll are old enough to remember the great bog roll crisis of 1974.

Your comments might be a little less flippant if you were.

Thank fuck that we are all being trained to wash our hands.