• I try to poo on company time which means I don’t get through a huge quantity of toilet roll at home, worried about how much I might actually need if I have to quarantine. What’s the average amount needed for 14 days per person?

  • depends if your partner has to fashion some kind of toilet roll catching mitt to wipe herself after a piss or not, or, if you're one of these healthy vegan people that takes a shit after every meal.

  • I clench on my morning commute to ensure that I'm getting paid to poo once I'm on the clock.

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