Badgers go mountain biking in....... Suffolk?

Pit MK2

I'm saving up for custom waltly limbs.

6 million dollar robo knees

I might join for this if my replacement bank cards turn up tomorrow. Will be my 2nd time ever MTBing :)

Why gearing do I need to stick on? And will these 26x1.9” tyres be suitable?

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gearing

There aren't any particularly steep climbs.

Those tyres are plenty

You riding SS? Around 55-60" gearing would be about right

Any gearing will be fatser than me pushing my bike.

fatser

Great typo

1 x <10 (depends how many are indexing properly). 55-60” is more or less down the middle so that’s 1 less thing to faff around with.

Yeah, cyclocross is something I won't do. I mean more for trail riding, much prefer flats for that.
Considering gravel riding, though, I would ride clipped in.

More gears than anybody could ever need there

Just avoid the standard noob error of putting 50psi in your tyres and you'll be fine ;-)

Everyone knows you need 60psi

Considering gravel riding

*sobs *

I need 65 now to not get tyre squirm. #fatlife

How much to avoid belly squirm?

I mean, how much do I need to pay to not see that

My bad wording. I meant to say, if I was going to do the gravel ride thing I would ride clipped in.
And I would also not use drop bars. It would be an old school steel rigid MTB for schlepping miles round the woods, non-technical riding.

How much is your eyesight worth to you?

Nothing if it's like my eyesight

He has a reputation for flicking terrain into people's eye from in front

Thankfully I'm way too slow to be anywhere near the blinding giant.

the blinding giant

I like that

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I didn’t know you did double figures.