Chat about Novel Coronavirus - 2019-nCoV - COVID-19

Pay good money for that down [redacted]!

To minimise contact I've started chucking my pangolins in a blender and then drinking the resulting pangolin smoothies through a straw.

italian woman on news at 1 said fist bumps are fine as are internet high 5's

realworld high 5's, hugs and handshakes are out

realworld... hugs... Are out

WHY GOD WHY!!!

sorry dude

thats gonna put you out of buisiness for a few months

*internet high 5

Due the high volume you bought, I will extend your hug tokens by 6 months.

Should also give that rash of yours an opportunity to settle.

Also hand washing practices in the trenches weren't great, typically the second chorus of happy birthday was interrupted by an incoming shell.

I have been washing after coming back into the house, after arriving at work, before eating and drinking. Should I be washing at any other interval?

Definitely add after using the loo to that list.

Someone on this thread could be incubating right now.

Interesting, I'd heard that it was by the second round the sniper had got their eye on you.

Edit:
But then they'd be killed by a shell. And not flu. Though, the spread of the virus may have been helped by bullets and bombs.

My grandad was killed at Ypres. He wasn't in the army, he was camping in the field next door and went over to complain about the noise.

Me and a couple of mates invented the "Elbow Bump" in Shoreditch- circa 1994 - Bricklayers Arms to be precise.
Originally everyone was fist pumping each other a la Nathan Barley but we found that when you had a pint in each hand and a fag in your mouth it was a pain to greet your pals with a hand shake or fist pump.
Therefore the "Elbow Pump" was invented.
True story from the days before Social media - it was posters and flyers back then. :)

Shit got real:

Ha! I suspect that joke's probably 1914 vintage, and yet I've not heard it before...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p0­59y0p1/contagion-the-bbc-four-pandemic

Models a pandemic with R₀ of 1.8 and 2% mortality rate with an up to date model of movement and interaction. Results are 43 million infected within 3 months and ~800k deaths.

Model rerun with everyone (100%) of people washing their hands properly at an increased frequency and results were 30 million infected (and still 2% of those dying, so ~600k) but over a much longer period (almost a year) so much less acute stress on the NHS as it is more spread out.

Obviously those figures for R₀ and mortality rate are (I believe) above those of Covid-19 although no-one really knows the true values of those figures yet.

Sorry to burst your bubble. but the elbow bump to avoid infections has been around for a lot longer than since 1994.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elbow_bump

ah! I like the leprosy story. Shaking hands is a bit tricky if you haven't got one...
Well i suppose we reinvented it without knowing it's origins..and ours wasn't to avoid infections it was due to carrying booze

Genomic epidemiology of novel coronavirus (HCoV-19): https://nextstrain.org/ncov

Well, hang on a minute. How does the elbow bump prevent the spread of infection if we're all sticking our faces into our elbows to sneeze?

ours wasn't to avoid infections it was due to carrying booze

The noblest of motivators

SHIT!

S'ok, only contortionists (and apparently Peter Andre) can sneeze onto the outsides of their elbow...

lol

The distance between the crook of your elbow and your elbow is within infection range of a sneeze, I'd have thought. You may as well sneeze on people on greeting.

Confirmed case in Devon, skiing holiday and been back at school for a week.
edit: Given that they've closed one secondary school, and four primary schools in close proximity not a massive leap to surmise a pupil has it.