• Two wee shitcunts tried to rob me of my Brompton in Highbury tonight. Luckily they were shit at it, announced themselves way too early and allowed me to get my d-lock out and twat one of them into the middle of next week. The other one fucked off pretty sharpish. A few good wrist stamps will have hopefully put him out of action for a few weeks.

    Cunts. I’m in the pub having a beer to calm the nerves and get the adrenaline down to manageable levels.

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