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  • If you ever go for a walk with the Scissor Sisters make sure they are pointing away from you.

    Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy.

    I said to my son "when you're home you treat this place like a hotel". Well that's backfired, he's given me a 1 star review on TripAdvisor citing rude staff.

    I was doing up my trousers this morning and got distracted singing along to Disney songs. Now I've zippered me doodah.

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