if it is a person of colour telling a white, middle class male that what they said was racist
Not sure what class or gender have to do with this, unless you're suggesting that those characteristics are predictive of being racist?
Still not an apology.
That's the point. It's not meant to be, nor should it be. If someone is defending themselves against an accusation of racism, they can't start that discussion with an apology for being racist because (i) it completely concedes the point under discussion and (ii) it would be completely insincere because they don't believe they've done anything wrong.
What I'm saying that they can do is apologise for their choice of words ("Sorry, that was a clumsy choice of words and I should have been more careful to bear in mind the historical context of those words."), while being adamant that their point was something other than racial (as @hugo7 pointed out, the interpretation could seem to be so far from the intent that jumping straight to an apology isn't seen to be as useful as clarifying the intent). In that situation what they need to do is avoid the bullshit complete non-apology of "I'm sorry you feel that way" as if their choice of words had nothing to do with it.
Not sure what class or gender have to do with this, unless you're suggesting that those characteristics are predictive of being racist?
That's the point. It's not meant to be, nor should it be. If someone is defending themselves against an accusation of racism, they can't start that discussion with an apology for being racist because (i) it completely concedes the point under discussion and (ii) it would be completely insincere because they don't believe they've done anything wrong.
What I'm saying that they can do is apologise for their choice of words ("Sorry, that was a clumsy choice of words and I should have been more careful to bear in mind the historical context of those words."), while being adamant that their point was something other than racial (as @hugo7 pointed out, the interpretation could seem to be so far from the intent that jumping straight to an apology isn't seen to be as useful as clarifying the intent). In that situation what they need to do is avoid the bullshit complete non-apology of "I'm sorry you feel that way" as if their choice of words had nothing to do with it.