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Well you did also say you mainly wanted a scooby for the sound.
Personally I'd go for the mods.
As paulbiche said day-to-day an R might feel more dull. Plus your wife's got the other car so you can afford to make a few practical compromises with the GTI. Maybe new bushings or polybushes to tighten up the ride?
hugo7
bright
I would go auto if I wanted to go with some larger sedan or estate type car... Nothing against that. I'd love an A8 or something. Just can't afford it and also it would look ridiculously obnoxious in my small driveway right off the street.
@hugo7 (also)
I lowered my GTI but I did it properly and also changed the struts (Bilstein B8) to match it. I also flushed the wheels with 10/15 mm spacers. It's amazing how high quality the ride is and the car looks amazing. Can't do that with an R because it would ruin the DCC. I would get wider wheels with a bigger ET though.
I've thought about remapping, getting turbo back exhaust and putting a short shifter on it. May I will do that. Would save me a car payment.