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Sorry to be graphic
No need to apologise. When I first went veggie I always thought I'd still happily eat meat if I caught/killed the animal as then I'd know I'd done it as well as I could. Thing is I have no desire to go about my day shooting pheasants or snaring rabbits etc. so naturally it never happened.
I think a lot of people (myself included) are so far removed from the actual processes involved in getting food on their plates that the cute calf in the field just isn't the same thing as the steak on the plate.
It's important to understand the reality of what's involved to make an informed decision.
Arducius
When I was about 10 me and a group of kids I knew were hanging around outside an abbatoir in our town, just kicking around in the summer holidays, on the embankment overlooking the site.
We got noticed by a couple of slaughtermen and got invited in to watch them electrocute pigs. Obviously morbid curiosity got the better of us, and I guess a bit of peer pressure.
It's never left me, the sight of pigs still kicking from the electrocution being hooked up and slit open. Utterly horrible. The sense of fear in the animals was fucking palpable.
Sorry to be graphic.