Fucking terrible gifts for cyclists

Are the pages absorbent?

It's hardback, which doesn't help...

i got the bike pizza cutter thing. actually could do with a pizza cutter tho. and it was chosen by my dad's partner's 12-year-old granddaughter, so it gets a pass.

Right until the moment the the wheel snaps off during its first or second use.

only positive outcomes in #2020

Got given one of these this year. Astoundingly, it weighs more than my whole bike, and the machining is so bad that every Allen key is round.
The person that bought it for me also got one for her husband, son, and son in law - none of them cycle - yet had the audacity to berate me for "putting no thought into her present" despite actually searching for 3 months to find the right thing for her.

So this was put swiftly in the recycling bin.

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Oh go on. What thoughtless gift did you bestow upon her?

An Amazon Firestick and a years subscription to MarqueeTV.

For someone who only watches television or goes to the theatre.

Right until the moment the the wheel snaps off during its first or second use.

Or when you find out that scissors are SO much better at cutting pizzas than, err, pizza cutters.

but i don't have special bike-shaped scissors

you monster.

I have literally gone my whole life not understanding what is wrong with a knife? Scissors, fine. Pizza wheel - wtf?

pizza bike

GOD!

One of the lesser respected deities?

Thanks, nice to get some closure on this Christmas tale, four years on.

Guessing a proper pizza wheel is faster and more ergonomic when you work in a busy pizza place.

Unless your knife is really long and you can use it like one of those rocking herb cutters, you’ll have to drag it through the pizza, pulling all the toppings as you go. The wheel is always pressing down onto the toppings so they stay put.

Having said that, I’ve never owned a wheely cutter, I just use a big knife with two “presses” per cut. Was given some beautiful stainless kitchen scissors recently so looking forward to trying those out.

This works, part wheel, part knife, dangerously sharp.

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Not all pizza wheels are made equal. The best ones are three or four inches across and are far better than knives in terms of not dragging toppings.

But sure, they're a luxury kitchen accessory.

scissors are SO much better at cutting pizzas than, err, pizza cutters.

because 99% of people use poor technique, it's easier to apply more force if the wheel is under your little finger.

My lovely next door neighbour Rita knows that I enjoy coffee and cycling so she got me a coffee mug and attached a squeaky bike horn to it:

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12 year old Bunnahabhain

my favourite whisky. Good work by your relatives.